New Year, More Joy Beginning of Week 4

It is Monday, and it is the beginning of Week 4 on Nutrisystem. 

Weight: 173

**Disclaimer. I don't reread this posts before I publish them. I figure write it and hit the button before I have time to regret being candid. So yes, there might be typos and run-on sentences. That's Keepin' it real, right?!

Now, I should be SUPER happy about this, because that is a total of 7 pounds lost since January 14th. That is good! However, because I tend to weigh myself every day, I get to see my weight fluctuate down, and then back up again. Also, last week at this time I was 174.6, so that is at least some improvement. The problem comes from that first magical week where every day I stepped on the scale I was down at least half a pound-ish. 
To combat this, I finally made myself take some before pictures. I have some photos from New Years Eve with friends, but these I took today are the horrible, tell-all photos of front, side and rear view. I was wearing jeans and took off my sweater to reveal just a tank top, so it is close enough to the sports bra/biker shorts photos some other braver women decide to post. I might cut my head off (the photo, I mean) and stick the photos in this post later. I know I will be glad I did so in a few weeks. I also need to find my measuring tape and take a waist measurement, at least.

So, the main thing here is to focus on what has been accomplished overall, and a 7 pound loss in three weeks is nothing to fuss about! If I lost 7 pounds every three weeks, I would be at 140 pounds in about 15 weeks, or about 4 months. Even though I want to go lower than 140, I remember feeling pretty fantastic at 145, so that is exciting me! 

It was too time consuming to type up a summary of my every day eating, so I decided to try to keep it up weekly. The past two weekends have been challenging because of different events (birthday parties, company, sickness, etc) but I stuck to the diet pretty well! I even got H.K. to start looking closely at what she is eating so that she can shed a few pounds and try to feel better. At eight-years-old, she is focusing mainly on healthy eating, not losing weight. I don't even talk about it as losing weight. I mention it as a byproduct of eating healthy--a bonus. This is what we have learned together:

Big "Ah-ha!" moment for us both is: just because the food is something we consider to be a healthy food, it doesn't mean we can eat it in unlimited amounts. For instance, if I wanted an apple with peanut butter, light yogurt, whole grain cereal, low fat lunchmeat, etc., I would just go grab it--all day long. Sure, I was making healthy choices, but my portion sizes were twice what they should have been, and my caloric intake was probably twice what I am doing now. H.K. is learning the same thing. I tell her we have to make a plan to eat everything! If we know we want apples and peanut butter, we plan for it during the day. 

I told her to treat calories like an allowance. She gets $1200 per day. Some foods are super expensive (like that $400 bag of buttery popcorn she ate the first day that left her with 12 calories, or $12 for dinner). Of course I didn't starve her that night, but she had to eat a healthier dinner, only get water the rest of the night, and skip dessert. Looking at calories this way has really hit home with her. And even though Nutrisystem doesn't require you to count calories, it has really made me aware of what even one little stray item on my Daily Tracker can do to my plan. Hardly ever worth it. 

Also, only a couple of people know that I am doing Nutrisystem. For some reason I still want to guard it as my secret until I can't hide it anymore--because of the huge transformation, of course! My mom did find out, because they stayed the weekend with us, and she decided to order also! She started today.

I am thankful that I pushed myself to write this today. I get discouraged by the scale because I want everything to happen overnight, but now that I see how much I have lost, what I am learning about eating, and how healthy habits can affect other people in your life, I am so excited to continue this journey!

New Year, More Joy Day 5

Day 5

Date: 1/18/13

Weight: 176.0

Physical feelings: It's Friday! I woke up at 5:50 today and got up and got a few things done this morning before I had to wake the girls. I had intended to do my Bible study at this time, but got wrapped up in laundry and kitchen stuff instead. Started the morning feeling pretty good. Also, scale keeps being friendly to me!

Emotional Feelings: Hey...it's Friday! I know I need to get to Wal-Mart this morning, so I need to go with a full stomach so that I don't get tempted. 

Breakfast: 

NS Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal *** I am a fan of oatmeal, so this is usually good for me. Tasted like normal, instant oatmeal. My favorite is steel-cut oats, though. 

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: Slimfast Vanilla shake

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Wasn't at home, so saved this for afternoon snack.

Lunch

NS Cheesy Homestyle potatoes (with a hint of broccoli) ** I wouldn't go as far as to say "homestyle." They were instant mashed potatoes, ya know. I added a bunch of steamed broccoli and a few crowder peas (which I later read were not considered an unlimited veggie, whoops). So I used the crowder peas for my afternoon snack. 

PowerFuel: Saved for later.

Afternoon Snack

Skipped since I used it at lunch with the crowder peas.

Dinner

NS Italian Herb Flatbread Pizza *** Since the girls had friends over, we went to Pizza Hut. I knew I better make and eat my pizza before we went or I would not be able to keep from eating a piece. I sauteed onions, peppers, canned mushrooms, and baby spinach in a skillet with non-stick spray and PILED it on that little pizza. I added a little part-skim mozzarella cheese also, because I didn't have a full serving of crowder peas at lunch. I baked it in the oven on a pizza pan covered in corn meal. The first bite was fantastic! I also added banana peppers, and I wish that I had added more. Once I got to the middle I guess it was just too much cheese or something, and I started getting put off by it. Next time I will not add the cheese, skip the red peppers, and add more banana peppers. However, this definitely helped me get the rest of my veggies in for the day. This pizza definitely has potential of being a really good food item.

SmartCarb: Too full, or just bleh to eat anything else. Saved for later.

Dessert

NS Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies * These were a disappointment. How can you mess up chocolate chip cookies? Make them the texture of dog biscuits. I paired them with a cup of skim milk (My SmartCarb saved from dinner). No matter how long I dipped the cookie, it would not get soft or soggy?! The flavor was okay, but the texture was the pits. Not one I would pick to order. 

End of the day thought: I think the biggest shock when you get your first Nutrisystem shipment is how small the portions look. When I thought about how I was eating right and couldn't understand why I was gaining weight, I was totally blowing the portion size--probably by 2 times! However, it is enjoyable to feel like you are not starving, but not miserable either. I don't miss that bloated, overfull feeling that I had before. My stomach is beginning to adjust, and I look forward to food now--even if it isn't my favorite thing in the world to eat. Dessert is like a friend waiting for you at the end of the day, and I don't feel guilty about blowing a diet because I am having it like I did before. It's planned.

New Year, More Joy Day 4

Day 4 

Date: 1/17/13

Weight: 176.6

Physical feelings: So sleepy all morning! Still having the stomach/bowel issues, but not that bad. Headache today, but right after I made some diet lemonade, so might be from that or sinus. Legs are tired from climbing up and down ladder in bathroom to paint. 

Emotional Feelings: Still positive. Helps to see the number keep dropping on the scale. Feels so good to feel like I am headed in the right direction. Finding myself less self conscious. It's almost like I want to be seen now so that I can surprise people in a few months looking and feeling good! I had Community Bible Study today, and went to a friend's house afterwards at lunchtime, so this was my first day of planning my meals away from home. 

Breakfast: 

NS Chocolate donut *** I warmed it, like I do everything, because it was so hard and dense. Not anything like a Krispy Kreme. More like the texture of a cake donut. Flavor wasn't bad though.

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: Ran out of time and saved this for an afternoon snack.

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Wasn't at home, so saved this for afternoon snack.

Lunch

NS Beans and Ham **** Still one of my favorite so far. Sort of like a thick soup. No broth.

PowerFuel: Saved for later. Substituted a SmartCarb instead. Carrots and sugar snap peas.

SmartCarb: 1/2 serving canned mandarin oranges in juice.

Afternoon Snack

PowerFuel (saved from Morning snack) Weight Watchers cheese stick.

PowerFuel (saved from Lunch) 2 oz buffalo chicken lunchmeat I weighed it on a food scale so I could see how much it really was. It was cut shaved so it felt like more. 

SmartCarb: 1 small banana

Dinner

NS Macaroni and cheese with beef **** Sort of a healthy Hamburger Helper. Little pellets of beef, but the taste was pretty good. Cheese sauce got nice and thick. This was one of those dehydrated meals, so I wasn't too excited, but after being rehydrated, it looked really good! I added a ton of steamed broccoli and some pepper, and it turned out to be one of my favorite meals this week. Filled up a whole bowl. 

SmartCarb: Saving for later this evening when I plan to eat 2 mandarin oranges. I am eating oranges like a mad woman! 

Dessert

NS Oatmeal Raisin cookie **** This cookie has been the most normal, non-diet tasting thing from NS yet. It just tasted like a cookie. Normal texture. I was excited. I warmed it, of course. I want another one.

End of the day thought: I had a conversation with a friend today about NS. Other than my immediate family who live in my house, no one knows I am doing this. She knows because I was heating up my NS lunch in her microwave. She asked me how it was going with cooking for a husband and 3 kids while trying to eat my own food. I said SURPRISINGLY well! She also said she was always concerned she would get on NS, lose a bunch of weight, and then gain it all back the second she got off NS. I said I used to think that also, but I have wanted for years to prove that wrong! I never knew how much extra work and planning and grocery items it took to do NS. At first I thought of that as a negative, but now I see that it prepares you for doing it on your own. Eating healthy is 90% planning ahead! The other 10% is just sticking to a plan, and not eating anything that is not on that plan. Someday when I reach my goal weight I can indulge more, but I will NEVER let myself get to this place again. I will weigh myself more often, and I will be more proactive when I see the scale creeping up. Also, I will begin to exercise again soon, but I want to give myself this month to get used to the huge decrease in food and dietary changes. Next month I plan to add in the Daily 3 (30 minutes exercise). 

New Year: More Joy Day 3

Day 3 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/16/13

Weight: 177.2 

Physical feelings: Well rested since the girls had a snow day and I got to sleep until almost 8:00! I'm not as hungry all the time as I thought I would be, but this abrupt change to my diet has made my stomach a little off...bowel-wise. I don't feel sick, I just I feel gas bubbles moving around in there during the day, and...well, that's enough to understand!

Emotional Feelings: Still positive and optimistic. 

Breakfast: 

NS pancakes. **** I added about 5 frozen blueberries. I made the girls pancakes since they were home and so I decided to make mine also. So far these breakfasts have been good.

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: Skim milk

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Slimfast vanilla protein shake. 

Lunch

NS Homestyle Chicken **** This was another of the canned meals. It was thick and had a good flavor.

PowerFuel: Peanut Butter on a slice of whole grain bread. I used up my afternoon Smartcarb for this because I was hungry. Also ate a plate full of carrots. 

Afternoon Snack

SmartCarb: Skipped since I used it at lunch. Wasn't too hard to do since I was at the paint store and grocery store. 

Dinner

NS Chicken Pasta Parmesan  *** This was a sealed ready to eat dinner that had a good flavor, and the chicken was not that weird texture that I was afraid of. Not bad. Shane and the girls ate at church, so I didn't have to cook for them.

SmartCarb: 2 mandarin oranges. I actually didn't eat these until after dessert later in the evening.

Dessert

NS Double Chocolate Almond Cookie **** I warmed this up. It was a really dense texture, but I appreciated the normal tasting chocolate. Less like a Tootsie Roll.

End of the day thought: I have really liked planning my meals to be similar to what I make for the rest of the family. I thought this would be the hardest thing with NS, but so far it hasn't been that big of a deal AS LONG AS I have planned ahead. 

New Year: More Joy Day 2

Day 2 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/15/13

Weight: 178

Physical feelings: Woke up hungry and really looking forward to breakfast!

Emotional Feelings: I was a bit cranky when I had to wait to eat breakfast to take our vehicle to the shop to get a new windshield. Shane went through Chic-fil-a, and I resisted. But I am excited to see a lower number on the scale today. Worked with Shane removing the ugly light from our yellow bathrooom (yay!) Worked on Bible study for about an hour this morning. 

Breakfast: 

NS Maple Brown Sugar. **** I added about 5 frozen blueberries, and this was actually really good and filling. 

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: I opted for scrambled egg whites (egg white substitute in the carton.) I sprayed a pan with spray butter and just poured a bit in there--probably about the equivalent of one extra large egg. I sprayed the eggs once more with spray butter, added a tiny salt and a lot of pepper and enjoyed. This was a really decent and filling breakfast. 

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Slimfast vanilla protein shake. I have an immersion blender, so I add a couple of crushed ice cubes, blend it all up, and drink this really slowly. Yum.

Lunch

NS Beans & Ham **** This meal was actually really good. Has a really good texture and flavor. Since it is one of the canned meals, there are no dehydrated mystery meat pieces or anything, so I liked it a lot.

PowerFuel: 1 Tbsp Peanut butter, plate full of carrots and celery (gotta get those veggies in!) 

Afternoon Snack

SmartCarb: 2 mandarin oranges 

1 cup hot low-sodium chicken broth. Again, I cannot imagine drinking this in warmer weather, but it was a cold, sleeting day where the kids got out for bad weather, and it tasted pretty good.

Dinner

NS Lasagna *** Tasted like Chef Boyardee, but after last night's sloppy joe nastiness, this was like heaven. I heated up a frozen lasagna for the rest of the family, and our plates didn't look that different. Okay, theirs looked slightly better.

Veggies: HUGE salad made with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, avacado, and boiled eggs. TINY bit of ranch dressing and a lot of pepper. 

SmartCarb: Wheat Bun toasted. I wasn't even hungry for this at dinner, so I had it after dessert. Topped with a very small amount of olive oil margarine.

Dessert

NS Chocolate Bar ** Tasted sort of like a Tootsie Roll, with that texture. Reminds me of a protein bar. Not really what I would choose for dessert, though. 

8 oz. Chocolate milk. I mean, I added the tiniest amount of Ovaltine that you could add and still call it chocolate milk. Tan colored, really.

End of the day thought: Still think it might be worth customizing my next shipment. However, I am glad I get to sample different things so that I know what I like. I see the importance of planning at least a couple days ahead so that I have everything I need, and the need to make several trips to the grocery store each week so that I don't waste produce. 

New Year: More Joy....Day 1

Day 1 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/14/13

Weight: 179.8

Physical feelings: Tired. We got home late last night from Nashville at the Farm Bureau Convention at the Opryland Hotel. A lot of walking! Feet hurt. Hips hurt. Shins hurt. A few weeks ago at Christmas it was my knee. I started last week at 182, but cut back on food b/c I new Nutrisystem would start Monday. The weeks before I started getting a swelling, bloated feeling in my upper stomach when I ate even a bit too much. In other words, my body is rebelling against the extra weight.

Emotional Feelings: Very good! Positive! Excited!

Breakfast: 
NS Blueberry Muffin. ** (I'm giving this a 2 star rating) Texture was kind of weird, but the flavor was okay. Had a twinkie vibe to it. I tried warming it, and accidentally left the "do not eat" packet stuck to the bottom of it while heating it for 10 seconds. Whoops!
Protein drink. I just used vanilla Slimfast powder and skim milk. Tastes like liquid birthday cake to me! 

Morning Snack:
PowerFuel: Boiled egg, coffee with fat-free creamer. I chopped up the egg (it was warm) and I added a small amount of salt and some pepper. Then I had a big cup of coffee. I was excited because I bought whole bean Eight-o-Clock coffee and ground the beans. Smelled so good! I guessed at the amount of creamer, but I don't think I went much over a Tablespoon.

Lunch
NS Three Cheese Pasta w/chicken *** This is one of the dry ready-to-eat meals, and it took me forever to get it rehydrated properly. Not one to make if I am in a hurry unless I perfect it. It wasn't bad though. The meat (?) was the texture of bacon bits and the noodles were good. The sauce was pretty good also. 
PowerFuel: 4 oz yogurt Activia vanilla, fat-free. Pretty good. Vanilla is sort of boring.

Afternoon Snack
SmartCarb: cucumbers and carrots. I didn't measure them. I had a plate full though! These are unlimited, so it was a good way to help curb appetite. 
1 cup hot low-sodium chicken broth. I cannot imagine drinking this in warmer weather, but it was so cold, it tasted pretty good.

Dinner
NS Sloppy Joe Mix. * This was the low point of the day. This stuff is worse than what I imagine they serve to prisoners. The smell, texture, and taste was sooo bad. I cooked real sloppy joes for the rest of the family, and I added peppers and onions to theirs, so in desperation I sautéed some and added them to mine also and put it on a wheat bun. It looked like a dog got sick on my plate. The peppers and onions were the only reason I was able to eat it, but I felt sick for like an hour afterwards. Never again. Sad that NS sent me another one in the first shipment. I think I will pass. This alone makes me want to pay the extra $20 to customize my next shipment so that this never (dramatic pause) happens again.
SmartCart:The wheat bun. Also ate a small portion of baked beans and some nasty canned greens that said they were Southern seasoned. 


Dessert
NS Chocolate cake ** After dinner (ugh), I was desperate to find something to remove the taste from my mouth. I picked this cake and added some lite Cool Whip to the top of it--not even caring if I was allowed. Did I mention desperate? It helped, but I was really hoping that NS had included one of those chocolate mint patties in my shipment that everyone raves about. They didn't, so I was disappointed before I even ate the chocolate cake. 

End of the day thought:
Just glad that I am done eating for the night. Had some plain hot tea and finished my water and called it a night. 

New Year: More Joy

Time to pull back the curtain here. It's my Freudian moment to lie on the couch and confess my woes. I hate New Year's Resolutions, but I did it anyway. I hate them because I never, ever keep them. I joked last year that my resolution was to break all of my resolutions, but then I got myself jammed up in a dilemma with semantics. 

Here's the big one for 2013: Find the things in my life that steal my joy and get rid of them. Joy--not happiness. Happiness is fleeting, and conditional on so many things. If my joy comes from the Lord, like I say it does, then why have I struggled so much this year with spiraling into a state of disillusionment, discontentment, and grumbling? There are many reasons, but all the strings led to a very shallow cause--my personal struggle with my weight and how it was beginning to make me feel physically and emotionally. Since giving birth to baby #2 in 2004, I have struggled with weight. In my opinion I began 2013 fifty pounds overweight, or 180 pounds. I began this journey last year in May when I weighed 164 pounds, but abandoned my efforts. So, on January 1st (my 37th birthday) I figured I had 16 pounds to lose before I was the weight I was when I thought I hit my weight ceiling back in May. Depressing? Could be, if I let it. But I got on Nutrisystem.com on the first day of the year and ordered my first shipment of food, because I needed help. It was over $200, but I finally did it. I know what it is, and I know the dangers of not learning to do this on my own. But I have to start somewhere! 
So, this is more of a personal blog that will serve me in three ways:

1. As a record of my weight loss and food diary to see what I liked/didn't like.
2. As a journal to record how I feel emotionally and physically each day
3. As an encourager so that if I feel like quitting, I can see my progress. 

I am a Christian, and I do not believe that weight loss is a fix to all of life problems. However, because I feel I am doing something good for myself physically, it has led me to do other things that are for my spiritual well-being. I am spending more time in Bible study and in prayer. I focus more on my family because I am not stressing over my health. I'm in the midst of it instead of wondering what I will do to fix it. It's similar to a time of fasting for me. I am positive and excited, and ask God to sustain me and encourage me through any trials that may come!