New Year, More Joy Day 4

Day 4 

Date: 1/17/13

Weight: 176.6

Physical feelings: So sleepy all morning! Still having the stomach/bowel issues, but not that bad. Headache today, but right after I made some diet lemonade, so might be from that or sinus. Legs are tired from climbing up and down ladder in bathroom to paint. 

Emotional Feelings: Still positive. Helps to see the number keep dropping on the scale. Feels so good to feel like I am headed in the right direction. Finding myself less self conscious. It's almost like I want to be seen now so that I can surprise people in a few months looking and feeling good! I had Community Bible Study today, and went to a friend's house afterwards at lunchtime, so this was my first day of planning my meals away from home. 

Breakfast: 

NS Chocolate donut *** I warmed it, like I do everything, because it was so hard and dense. Not anything like a Krispy Kreme. More like the texture of a cake donut. Flavor wasn't bad though.

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: Ran out of time and saved this for an afternoon snack.

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Wasn't at home, so saved this for afternoon snack.

Lunch

NS Beans and Ham **** Still one of my favorite so far. Sort of like a thick soup. No broth.

PowerFuel: Saved for later. Substituted a SmartCarb instead. Carrots and sugar snap peas.

SmartCarb: 1/2 serving canned mandarin oranges in juice.

Afternoon Snack

PowerFuel (saved from Morning snack) Weight Watchers cheese stick.

PowerFuel (saved from Lunch) 2 oz buffalo chicken lunchmeat I weighed it on a food scale so I could see how much it really was. It was cut shaved so it felt like more. 

SmartCarb: 1 small banana

Dinner

NS Macaroni and cheese with beef **** Sort of a healthy Hamburger Helper. Little pellets of beef, but the taste was pretty good. Cheese sauce got nice and thick. This was one of those dehydrated meals, so I wasn't too excited, but after being rehydrated, it looked really good! I added a ton of steamed broccoli and some pepper, and it turned out to be one of my favorite meals this week. Filled up a whole bowl. 

SmartCarb: Saving for later this evening when I plan to eat 2 mandarin oranges. I am eating oranges like a mad woman! 

Dessert

NS Oatmeal Raisin cookie **** This cookie has been the most normal, non-diet tasting thing from NS yet. It just tasted like a cookie. Normal texture. I was excited. I warmed it, of course. I want another one.

End of the day thought: I had a conversation with a friend today about NS. Other than my immediate family who live in my house, no one knows I am doing this. She knows because I was heating up my NS lunch in her microwave. She asked me how it was going with cooking for a husband and 3 kids while trying to eat my own food. I said SURPRISINGLY well! She also said she was always concerned she would get on NS, lose a bunch of weight, and then gain it all back the second she got off NS. I said I used to think that also, but I have wanted for years to prove that wrong! I never knew how much extra work and planning and grocery items it took to do NS. At first I thought of that as a negative, but now I see that it prepares you for doing it on your own. Eating healthy is 90% planning ahead! The other 10% is just sticking to a plan, and not eating anything that is not on that plan. Someday when I reach my goal weight I can indulge more, but I will NEVER let myself get to this place again. I will weigh myself more often, and I will be more proactive when I see the scale creeping up. Also, I will begin to exercise again soon, but I want to give myself this month to get used to the huge decrease in food and dietary changes. Next month I plan to add in the Daily 3 (30 minutes exercise). 

New Year: More Joy Day 3

Day 3 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/16/13

Weight: 177.2 

Physical feelings: Well rested since the girls had a snow day and I got to sleep until almost 8:00! I'm not as hungry all the time as I thought I would be, but this abrupt change to my diet has made my stomach a little off...bowel-wise. I don't feel sick, I just I feel gas bubbles moving around in there during the day, and...well, that's enough to understand!

Emotional Feelings: Still positive and optimistic. 

Breakfast: 

NS pancakes. **** I added about 5 frozen blueberries. I made the girls pancakes since they were home and so I decided to make mine also. So far these breakfasts have been good.

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: Skim milk

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Slimfast vanilla protein shake. 

Lunch

NS Homestyle Chicken **** This was another of the canned meals. It was thick and had a good flavor.

PowerFuel: Peanut Butter on a slice of whole grain bread. I used up my afternoon Smartcarb for this because I was hungry. Also ate a plate full of carrots. 

Afternoon Snack

SmartCarb: Skipped since I used it at lunch. Wasn't too hard to do since I was at the paint store and grocery store. 

Dinner

NS Chicken Pasta Parmesan  *** This was a sealed ready to eat dinner that had a good flavor, and the chicken was not that weird texture that I was afraid of. Not bad. Shane and the girls ate at church, so I didn't have to cook for them.

SmartCarb: 2 mandarin oranges. I actually didn't eat these until after dessert later in the evening.

Dessert

NS Double Chocolate Almond Cookie **** I warmed this up. It was a really dense texture, but I appreciated the normal tasting chocolate. Less like a Tootsie Roll.

End of the day thought: I have really liked planning my meals to be similar to what I make for the rest of the family. I thought this would be the hardest thing with NS, but so far it hasn't been that big of a deal AS LONG AS I have planned ahead. 

New Year: More Joy Day 2

Day 2 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/15/13

Weight: 178

Physical feelings: Woke up hungry and really looking forward to breakfast!

Emotional Feelings: I was a bit cranky when I had to wait to eat breakfast to take our vehicle to the shop to get a new windshield. Shane went through Chic-fil-a, and I resisted. But I am excited to see a lower number on the scale today. Worked with Shane removing the ugly light from our yellow bathrooom (yay!) Worked on Bible study for about an hour this morning. 

Breakfast: 

NS Maple Brown Sugar. **** I added about 5 frozen blueberries, and this was actually really good and filling. 

Coffee w/ sugar free creamer

PowerFuel: I opted for scrambled egg whites (egg white substitute in the carton.) I sprayed a pan with spray butter and just poured a bit in there--probably about the equivalent of one extra large egg. I sprayed the eggs once more with spray butter, added a tiny salt and a lot of pepper and enjoyed. This was a really decent and filling breakfast. 

Morning Snack:

PowerFuel: Slimfast vanilla protein shake. I have an immersion blender, so I add a couple of crushed ice cubes, blend it all up, and drink this really slowly. Yum.

Lunch

NS Beans & Ham **** This meal was actually really good. Has a really good texture and flavor. Since it is one of the canned meals, there are no dehydrated mystery meat pieces or anything, so I liked it a lot.

PowerFuel: 1 Tbsp Peanut butter, plate full of carrots and celery (gotta get those veggies in!) 

Afternoon Snack

SmartCarb: 2 mandarin oranges 

1 cup hot low-sodium chicken broth. Again, I cannot imagine drinking this in warmer weather, but it was a cold, sleeting day where the kids got out for bad weather, and it tasted pretty good.

Dinner

NS Lasagna *** Tasted like Chef Boyardee, but after last night's sloppy joe nastiness, this was like heaven. I heated up a frozen lasagna for the rest of the family, and our plates didn't look that different. Okay, theirs looked slightly better.

Veggies: HUGE salad made with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, avacado, and boiled eggs. TINY bit of ranch dressing and a lot of pepper. 

SmartCarb: Wheat Bun toasted. I wasn't even hungry for this at dinner, so I had it after dessert. Topped with a very small amount of olive oil margarine.

Dessert

NS Chocolate Bar ** Tasted sort of like a Tootsie Roll, with that texture. Reminds me of a protein bar. Not really what I would choose for dessert, though. 

8 oz. Chocolate milk. I mean, I added the tiniest amount of Ovaltine that you could add and still call it chocolate milk. Tan colored, really.

End of the day thought: Still think it might be worth customizing my next shipment. However, I am glad I get to sample different things so that I know what I like. I see the importance of planning at least a couple days ahead so that I have everything I need, and the need to make several trips to the grocery store each week so that I don't waste produce. 

New Year: More Joy....Day 1

Day 1 (I kept this on paper and am typing it up)

Date: 1/14/13

Weight: 179.8

Physical feelings: Tired. We got home late last night from Nashville at the Farm Bureau Convention at the Opryland Hotel. A lot of walking! Feet hurt. Hips hurt. Shins hurt. A few weeks ago at Christmas it was my knee. I started last week at 182, but cut back on food b/c I new Nutrisystem would start Monday. The weeks before I started getting a swelling, bloated feeling in my upper stomach when I ate even a bit too much. In other words, my body is rebelling against the extra weight.

Emotional Feelings: Very good! Positive! Excited!

Breakfast: 
NS Blueberry Muffin. ** (I'm giving this a 2 star rating) Texture was kind of weird, but the flavor was okay. Had a twinkie vibe to it. I tried warming it, and accidentally left the "do not eat" packet stuck to the bottom of it while heating it for 10 seconds. Whoops!
Protein drink. I just used vanilla Slimfast powder and skim milk. Tastes like liquid birthday cake to me! 

Morning Snack:
PowerFuel: Boiled egg, coffee with fat-free creamer. I chopped up the egg (it was warm) and I added a small amount of salt and some pepper. Then I had a big cup of coffee. I was excited because I bought whole bean Eight-o-Clock coffee and ground the beans. Smelled so good! I guessed at the amount of creamer, but I don't think I went much over a Tablespoon.

Lunch
NS Three Cheese Pasta w/chicken *** This is one of the dry ready-to-eat meals, and it took me forever to get it rehydrated properly. Not one to make if I am in a hurry unless I perfect it. It wasn't bad though. The meat (?) was the texture of bacon bits and the noodles were good. The sauce was pretty good also. 
PowerFuel: 4 oz yogurt Activia vanilla, fat-free. Pretty good. Vanilla is sort of boring.

Afternoon Snack
SmartCarb: cucumbers and carrots. I didn't measure them. I had a plate full though! These are unlimited, so it was a good way to help curb appetite. 
1 cup hot low-sodium chicken broth. I cannot imagine drinking this in warmer weather, but it was so cold, it tasted pretty good.

Dinner
NS Sloppy Joe Mix. * This was the low point of the day. This stuff is worse than what I imagine they serve to prisoners. The smell, texture, and taste was sooo bad. I cooked real sloppy joes for the rest of the family, and I added peppers and onions to theirs, so in desperation I sautéed some and added them to mine also and put it on a wheat bun. It looked like a dog got sick on my plate. The peppers and onions were the only reason I was able to eat it, but I felt sick for like an hour afterwards. Never again. Sad that NS sent me another one in the first shipment. I think I will pass. This alone makes me want to pay the extra $20 to customize my next shipment so that this never (dramatic pause) happens again.
SmartCart:The wheat bun. Also ate a small portion of baked beans and some nasty canned greens that said they were Southern seasoned. 


Dessert
NS Chocolate cake ** After dinner (ugh), I was desperate to find something to remove the taste from my mouth. I picked this cake and added some lite Cool Whip to the top of it--not even caring if I was allowed. Did I mention desperate? It helped, but I was really hoping that NS had included one of those chocolate mint patties in my shipment that everyone raves about. They didn't, so I was disappointed before I even ate the chocolate cake. 

End of the day thought:
Just glad that I am done eating for the night. Had some plain hot tea and finished my water and called it a night. 

New Year: More Joy

Time to pull back the curtain here. It's my Freudian moment to lie on the couch and confess my woes. I hate New Year's Resolutions, but I did it anyway. I hate them because I never, ever keep them. I joked last year that my resolution was to break all of my resolutions, but then I got myself jammed up in a dilemma with semantics. 

Here's the big one for 2013: Find the things in my life that steal my joy and get rid of them. Joy--not happiness. Happiness is fleeting, and conditional on so many things. If my joy comes from the Lord, like I say it does, then why have I struggled so much this year with spiraling into a state of disillusionment, discontentment, and grumbling? There are many reasons, but all the strings led to a very shallow cause--my personal struggle with my weight and how it was beginning to make me feel physically and emotionally. Since giving birth to baby #2 in 2004, I have struggled with weight. In my opinion I began 2013 fifty pounds overweight, or 180 pounds. I began this journey last year in May when I weighed 164 pounds, but abandoned my efforts. So, on January 1st (my 37th birthday) I figured I had 16 pounds to lose before I was the weight I was when I thought I hit my weight ceiling back in May. Depressing? Could be, if I let it. But I got on Nutrisystem.com on the first day of the year and ordered my first shipment of food, because I needed help. It was over $200, but I finally did it. I know what it is, and I know the dangers of not learning to do this on my own. But I have to start somewhere! 
So, this is more of a personal blog that will serve me in three ways:

1. As a record of my weight loss and food diary to see what I liked/didn't like.
2. As a journal to record how I feel emotionally and physically each day
3. As an encourager so that if I feel like quitting, I can see my progress. 

I am a Christian, and I do not believe that weight loss is a fix to all of life problems. However, because I feel I am doing something good for myself physically, it has led me to do other things that are for my spiritual well-being. I am spending more time in Bible study and in prayer. I focus more on my family because I am not stressing over my health. I'm in the midst of it instead of wondering what I will do to fix it. It's similar to a time of fasting for me. I am positive and excited, and ask God to sustain me and encourage me through any trials that may come!